Monday, 11 January 2010

Note to self

I am having a hell of a time getting my nose back to the grindstone after the Christmas/snow break. I have a ton of work to do, childcare in the house, a computer and phone at my disposal, but can I get down to it? Can I heck. I seem to have lost the ability to do anything gainful with my time. I can blog, tweet, faff around on Facebook and generally waste time on the web, but I can't seem to actually get the old grey cells firing sufficiently to actually have an intelligent conversation or write anything coherent (for money that is).

This really has to stop or the coffers will genuinely run dry, but strangely enough it's so much more attractive to waffle on about me and my own little interests than try to write about what an editor will actually commission me to.

Am also finding it so hard to let go of my boys. I have loved being a proper mummy to them (albeit with all the attendant helpful relatives that the festive period provided) and I am hating handing them back to nanny, school and nursery. Little boy two has just left the locked door of my office in tears crying for a cuddle, which makes me feel doubly guilty as all I am doing is blogging, not running a high powered career, but I know the time has come to impose some order on all of us.

To which end I shall shut up my bleeding heart, prevent myself from rushing out to cuddle weeping boy two and scoop up my sick babies to wipe their noses and hold them tight. Sign off from my blog and pick up the phone to talk to someone work related in a vain attempt to get myself back into the unfamiliar and unwelcome working mummy mode.

1 comment:

  1. the constant guilt/earning money for family worry. Keep plugging away, normaility will return