Thursday, 5 March 2009

Things I would never have said before becoming a parent

Of course there are all the usual things that you promised you would never say when you were a kid, but I am thinking of the more surreal utterances that parenthood adds to your repertoire. 

'Take that bag off your head before you brush your teeth, Max'

'Don't lick that, Max' (referring to the fence between the South Bank and the Thames, really don't ask)

'Max, don't sit on the dinosaur'

'Why are you walking backwards across the road Max?'

'Get your face out of the hummus pot Max'

'Stop eating the cat food Max'

The inspiration for this post is my second son who at just three years old has already shown an early talent for getting into tricky situations. 


  1. What is it with hummus pots? I'm sure I've said that too in the past. Hummus is our favourite staple in thsi household and I will never forget the weekend when Watirose had RUN OUT. Let's just say we weren't the only parents standing helplessly by the chiller cabinet wondering what on earth to do.

  2. This is the funniest thing I have read in ages. I have a Max too and think I have said all of the above. My Max's best trick to date was escaping from the pediatric ward in Bordeaux hospital with a drip in his arm whilst pushing a plastic dinosaur walker. He was found in the car park having taken the lift and descended five floors. He was aged two at the time. Good luck! x