A fine pair of lungs
Copious amounts of bodily fluids
A wonderful sense of timing
We have been playing this game for the last hour.
The ever inventive Jonah came up with the idea, by sitting up after his mid-morning feed and throwing the contents of his tiny tummy up over himself, the sofa, the floor and best of all in mummy's face. What fun.
Never one to be left out Zach chose this moment to fill his pants in explosive style.
Up I whizz to change my sick-coated baby, deciding that as Zach wasn't yelling he could wait his turn. Off come his clothes and nappy, at which point Jonah pulls his next trick and wees all over me. Fortunately after the sick outburst I had had the foresight to dress down for this part of the game and was changing him in my bra and knickers, the rest of my clothes lying sodden in the washing machine. Let's just hope the neighbours weren't looking, as the sight of me half dressed is more than enough to scare the horses, let alone a semi full of Polish car dealers.
Once I was decent again it was Zach's turn, and as I picked him up from the moses basket I realised that this wasn't just any common or garden poo, this was a super squirty one that covered him from knees to neck, taking in all his clothes and sheet beneath him. Clearly he was worried that mummy's washing machine might stop working for a nanosecond.
Up I go to the nursery again to hose down baby number two, as baby number one screams blue murder downstairs having woken up to the fact that he has lost half his meal between the sofa cushions and is still a little peckish, so as soon as Zach is up and dressed it's down to feed Jonah what's left of his milk.
When, even after all this fun and games, the boys still made it clear they wanted to carry on playing by screaming in stereo, I resorted to mummy's best friend - Calpol. I justified pacifing them with the pink elixir with the fact that they had their jabs this morning. So far so silent, so now mummy can count down the seconds till they can be let loose on the Wii during the school holidays in peace and quiet.